Break Up With A Narcissist
Getting Over The Break Up With A Narcissist & Freeing Yourself From Narcissistic Abuse!
Has the relationship, separation, divorce, or the break up with a narcissist all but destroyed you?
Do you constantly worry, or obsess as to why this happened, and wonder if the nightmare will ever end?
Did the relationship end abruptly, without warning? Perhaps giving you no closure, as to what went wrong, and why he suddenly changed?
Is he now ignoring you, as if you never existed?
Have you tried desperately to rekindle his affection, or perhaps mold yourself into what you think he wants, and no matter how hard you try, NOTHING pleases HIM?
If you are currently grieving the loss of a narcissist, if the break up with a narcissist has left you heartbroken, numb, and hopeless, I assure you, YOU are not alone in this journey back to self!
Not only have I been there, I have coached thousands of women who have also been in your same exact position.
In fact, many victims of narcissistic relationships are often discarded and left in shock. Many victims feel haunted and tainted by the memories of what ‘use’ to be, and all the while knowing, it was never REAL!
If so, and this is happening to you.. Perhaps you too have wondered the following?
How can a man go from being everything you ever wanted in a partner, everything you have always dreamed of, and suddenly change into being cruel, distant, vicious, and emotionally withdrawn?
How can a narcissist lead a completely double life, and have no remorse?
How can a narcissist be so convincing, so romantic, so heavenly and utterly hard to resist…. Later turn into a mean, cold, distracted, selfish, arrogant man?
How can a narcissist change so suddenly? How could he do this to us?
Did I ever mean anything to him? Did he ever love me, or was it all an act?
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
Maybe like many victim’s of narcissistic abuse, victim’s who have found themselves heartbroken, shattered, shaken and in disbelief..
You too blame yourself for the relationship ending..
Perhaps you are now left with the constant nagging obsession of thinking..
- “He was right, there is something wrong with me..”
- “If only I had given him more space..”
- “If only I was like her, he would have never left..”
- “I should have given more, tried harder, and required less..”
- “He’s right! I was the ONE with the problem.. I am the ONE who always messed things up..”
If this is happening to you, and you are currently obsessing over what YOU did wrong… STOP!
The Break Up With A Narcissist & The Ending Of A Narcissistic Relationship Tortuously Leave Victims In A State Of Confusion, Agony & Despair!
Surviving A Narcissist – Life After The Break Up With A Narcissist
I am Lisa E. Scott, the Author of All About Him, and the author of “Surviving A Narcissist – The Path Forward”.
If you are currently left with picking up the pieces after being discarded by a narcissist, or you are currently suffering from the heartache of loving a narcissist..
I assure you, I know exactly what this pain feels like.
In fact, I know exactly what its like to live with, to love, and to leave a narcissist. I have been there and I know first hand, what it feels like to be haunted by the guiding shadow of a damaged man.
While this is the reality of my experience, I am extremely fortunate to be able to write this advice, and to let you know I survived it!
Not only was my ex-husband a narcissist, someone who slowly exhibited narcissistic traits, he was also diagnosed with pathological narcissism by his own therapist.
While I never understood what was happening, and remained in disillusion for many years, when I finally realized that my ex-husband would never change, that he was totally incapable of loving me, I knew that to survive the abuse, I would have to find the strength to move on, and free myself from his control, and the anguish he caused me.
Though I admit, it was extremely painful, and extremely hard to move on, I knew it had to happen.
It was during this time, when I wrote my first book, “It’s All About Him”. My plan was to build awareness and help others recognize a narcissist before getting involved, and potentially getting hurt! In addition, after personally watching myself, and countless other victim’s become painfully scarred by such a man, and the devastating ending we ALL eventually face, I decided to write my latest eBook.. “Surviving A Narcissist – The Path Forward”.
After all, our friends and family often say things like, “get over it”! We are often questioned, and sometimes embarrassed by the simple fact, “we cannot just GET OVER IT”!
The TRUTH is, no one knows what it is like to be in a relationship with a narcissist, unless they have been through it themselves.
No one could ever imagine what that pain feels like. It’s horrifying!
Not only so, I have fallen in love with not just ONE man who fits this description, but two.
Yes, two narcissistic men!
Precisely for this reason, I share my story…
In fact, you might be thinking..
“How can this be possible? How can a woman who is intelligent, wise, savvy to the world, aware of all the games some men play, fall for this type of man? How could I not spot the RED FLAGS??”
Ironically, this is a very common question I am often asked, and it took me years to finally figure this out!
In fact, at one time I thought I knew how to spot the characteristics of a selfish narcissistic man, only to painfully discover, I had no clue!
Literally, I was completely clueless as to what was happening, until it was too late, and I was already emotionally vested.
Not only so… When falling in love, we try desperately to avoid being hurt. We want to spend our lives with a caring and compassionate man, and any sign of selfishness is a warning sign. Women have learned the hard way to pay attention to red flags. They are there for a reason … to warn us.
But the worse part of falling for a narcissist, is that in the beginning, there are no red flags! The red flags do not surface until the narcissist achieves his goal, and it’s at this point, victim’s find themselves in a state of confusion, hurt and denial.
As an example, in the beginning, everything was surreal, right? He treated you like a queen and put you on a pedestal. He showered you with tons of attention, and seemed like the prince charming you’ve always read about?
He was relentless, he was convincing, charming, romantic, and everything you had always dreamed of, right?
But then, without warning, and without any red flags, he changed…
Going from being everything you could ever want in a man, to someone you hardly recognized?
Yes, when coming out of a narcissistic relationship, victims have a very hard time grasping how they went from being completely consumed by the idealization of a narcissist, to being completely discarded.
Suddenly, you went from being ‘perfect’, only to be baffled when you can’t do anything right! Nothing you do is good enough for him, and all of your efforts are merely used against you. By understanding the inevitable, by understanding the Devalue & Discard (D&D) behavior of a Narcissist, you will finally realize what you are dealing with, and the reality of who you fell in love with!
When I met my ex-husband, I thought I had literally found the ‘perfect man’. All most instantly, I fell madly in love with him, and was certain we would spend the rest of our lives together. He appeared more loving, and more sensitive to my needs and desires than any man I’ve ever met. As I stated previously, he was heavenly and utterly hard to avoid!
He was everything I had ever wanted and more!
But.. after years of loving, a narcissist, someone who caused me so much pain, I finally had to wake up and make the decision to move on! Yes, after all the years of abuse, after years of trying, years of giving to a man, with hardly anything in return, I was calling it quits!
I had to realize that he would never change and that I wanted more than he could ever give me! I was tired, and I was tired of all the emotional abuse in loving this man. I was tired of being in a constant state of confusion, constantly depressed and most of all, I was tired of wondering and questioning myself. I honestly wanted the old Lisa back!
But… Was that possible? Could I find myself again?
Before we continue, please allow me to clarify that both men and women suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Men typically have more opportunities to be in a position where they can abuse their power. Studies tell us 75% of Narcissists are male. However, it is important to note that a woman can be just as narcissistic as a man.
I will refer to the Narcissist as a male for purposes of flow and brevity. It is simply easier to read if I’m not constantly referring to both sexes. Therefore, if you are involved in a relationship with a female Narcissist, please replace the male pronoun with the female pronoun.
I tell my story to provide insight into the mind of a narcissist. It is important we understand how a narcissist thinks and just what motivates him. I want to help you recognize a narcissist, the narcissists personality before he takes advantage of you.
I also want you to understand that under no circumstance would I ever want to confuse readers by portraying that every single relationship circumstance is the same, nor is every man that happens to be a jerk a narcissist. This is simply not the case!
The PROBLEM IS THIS: Narcissists are an elusive breed that are often very hard to spot, hard to pinpoint, hard to understand and EXTREMELY hard to walk away from!
Narcissist are very deceptive, they are brilliant actors, and they seek relationships to fill a void.
In both relationships, what I thought was an overly compassionate person was an overly damaged and controlling person in disguise. I misread their desire to be with me at all times as passionate love. I found myself dumbfounded wondering what happened to the intense love they once had for me. What I came to realize is that neither one of them ever truly loved me.
Sure, they told me they loved me. They professed their love for me daily. However, it was an act. They never loved me the way they said they did. They were putting on an act in order to secure and control me. Narcissists can emulate emotions better than anyone. Narcissist make great actors.
Even Mental Health experts find it extremely difficult to measure the level and degree of narcissism one might carry. I am not a psychotherapist nor do I proclaim to be. My writing is solely based on years of experience. The experience of my own personal pain from loving a narcissistic man, and the journey to recovery.
My primary mission is to help you gain knowledge, to guide you through this pain, and to let you know that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE! I tell my story to provide insight into the mind of a narcissist. It is important we understand how a narcissist thinks and just what motivates him.
After The Break Up With A Narcissist It’s Critical To Your Recovery To Know How A Narcissist Operates!
Again, I am often asked why we fall for a narcissist?
How is it possible for a man who is so self absorbed, so detached from love and the real meaning of commitment, make his way into our lives.
In my experience, narcissists have an uncanny ability to figure out what a particular woman wants in a man.
They are then able to project this ideal image back to a woman in order to win her over. Narcissists put on a brilliant act when courting a woman. They know exactly how to impress and dazzle you.
You’re led to believe this man is your soul mate, and more caring and compassionate than any man you have ever met. You’re unaware of the fact that he is putting on an act in order to win your affections. Idealization is at its peak, and the man appears “too good to be true.”
And in fact, he is…
Allow me to explain.
By first impression, when meeting a Narcissist you will often feel in total romantic bliss!
Through his brilliant and charming tactics, victims will often immediately feel an intense chemistry and connection. His relentless efforts, his beautiful maneuvers that have the ‘fireworks’ effect, his unique and over-the-top measures of winning you over are so addicting, they are so POWERFUL — you cannot help but fall madly in love!
Narcissist have a way about them, that make your heart melt! Never before have you ever felt this type of intense bond with a man, and your life takes on a brand new meaning.
Not only does he effortlessly sweep you off your feet, he is unlike any man you have ever met.. You are convinced he is your soul mate, and he is everything you have always wanted in a partner, and more!
A Narcissist knows exactly what you want to hear, he knows exactly what to say, and your often mesmerized by his ability to read your mind, and your thoughts.
He flourishes you with his generous ongoing acts of affection! His attention, the amount of time and energy he showers you with is surreal! He romances you, he is charming, and very wise in his approach.
All in all, the Narcissist indirectly convinces you that he is in fact the complete package. He’s the enchanter, the helpless romantic, and the alpha and omega.. Never before have you felt this type of connection with a man, nor will you ever.
Without knowing what is happening, and without knowing his REAL motives, he sweeps you off your feet! His sweet little nothings (and most of the time they are), his endearing notes and cards, his flowers, and surprises for no special occasion always win the hearts of women.
He doesn’t necessarily have to be good looking, as his skills make up for where he lacks. Never before have you encountered such a whirlwind of events that made you consciously know ‘He’s the one.
However, as time passes, he begins to change. Mr. Romeo is not the same man.
Who is he?
When a narcissist reveals his true stripes, victims are shocked by his sudden drastic change in behavior.
He becomes cold, and the slightest disagreement sets him into a rage. He is preoccupied, distracted, and disinterested. He is withdrawn, and his silence consumes you.
His frequent mood changes confuse you, and his lack of empathy pains you.
Yes, most of us, at some stage in our lives have been in a relationship that essentially went bad.. Most of us, have been in the terrible spot of knowing the person we had fallen for, was not who we expected.
This is all apart of the world called reality.
On the contrary, no one, including me, could ever prepare for the heartache and the pain you will eventually face with a narcissist. The situation is quite horrifying, it’s exhausting, and it mentally scars you!
To Get Over The Break Up With A Narcissist & Free Your Mind From The Abuse, You Must Educate Yourself! Knowledge Is Extremely Powerful!
Step#1 – After the break up with a narcissist, most victim’s are left to believe this was their fault!
If you are currently blaming yourself, if you are constantly obsessing over all the MANY things you could have done differently to prevent this break up, please STOP!
Not only will this make matters worse, chances are, there is nothing you could have done different. Once you begin to understand how a narcissistic abuser operates, and how a narcissist eventually discards his sources of supply, you will then begin the healing process.
In addition, narcissist are pathological charmers, and known to thrive on Games! In fact, to live through all the high’s, and all the low’s that comes with loving a narcissist, it’s best described by victim’s as a roller-coaster ride on steroids! You never know what to expect, and the mental exhaustion is nearly unbearable. Simply put, to be in a relationship with a narcissist, is life-changing!
This is why often most victim’s have a very hard time getting over the break up with a narcissist. He is constantly giving you mixed signals! He preys upon your emotions, and uses them to his fullest advantage!
Not only so, for victim’s, being involved with a narcissist is a confusing state of affairs, to say the least. In the beginning, a narcissist makes you feel incredibly loved and valued. He appears to be head-over-heels in love with you and worships the ground you walk on. Whatever you like, he will like. Whatever you want, he will do his best to give you! Whatever he knows will win your love, he will go to extreme measures to provide!! He may write you poetry, takes you out for romantic dinners, whisk you off on fairytale vacations, and above it all.. He will absolutely find all your little quirks endearing and adorable. Yes, a narcissist is the omega master when comes to preying on victim’s emotions!
The fact remains, narcissists know exactly what you want to hear, and exactly who you want them to be. Narcissists are gifted manipulators who can sweep anyone off their feet. They are charming and irresistible. Above all, they make you feel as though they understand you like no man has or ever will. This is all common, and the classic signs of narcissistic behavior!
Trust me, I know this personally, and I have coached thousands of women who would also agree.
Not only so, it’s as if Narcissistic Men follow the same M.O.! In the beginning they build the unsuspecting loved one’s self-esteem up to a point they had never experienced before, and then slowly, painfully and viciously the narcissist tears them DOWN!
This is what you need to realize.
During the courting phase of a relationship the narcissist’s false self is most inflated. Sure everyone puts their best foot forward when initially dating someone; however, Narcissists go above and beyond this! His charm, his quick thinking, his enduring tactics, and the remarkable feeling we feel when falling for a narcissist, is unlike anything you’ve probably experienced.
In fact, narcissists have an uncanny ability to figure out what a particular woman wants in a man. They are then able to project this ideal image back to a woman in order to win her over. Simply put, Narcissists put on a brilliant act when courting a woman. They know exactly how to impress and dazzle you.
You’re led to believe this man is your soul mate, and more caring and compassionate than any man you have ever met. You’re unaware of the fact that he is putting on an act in order to win your affections. Idealization is at its peak, and the man appears “too good to be true.”
And again, he is!
Perhaps as time slowly goes by, you notice his behavior, and the way he treats you drastically change.. Maybe like most victim’s, you try desperately to figure out why this is happening, and with all your power, try to revert things back to the way it use to be..
But in the end, none of it works. There is no turning the clocks, and the man you feel in love with, will never be the same..
Unfortunately, once a narcissist is victorious and secures the woman he has been chasing, the idealization phase of a relationship passes and reality sets in. His glowing temperament changes, and gradually his mask begins to fall off.
This is all apart of the Narcissistic Idealization process that occurs!
Yes, when a narcissist is trying to secure his new source of supply, (hence, his victim), there is nothing he will not do to impress her. During this phase of the relationship, the narcissist views his source as being perfect, she is wonderful in every aspect, and his ‘soul mate’. He is captured by her amazing talents, her brilliance, her sweetness, and any other personality trait he can hone in on. Precisely for this reason, most narcissistic relationships evolve very quickly, and his motive of trying to speed up the sensation of attachment is secured.
So why does a narcissist behave this way?
Narcissist feed off the attention they get from people. Adoration from others is what fuels them. It is like a drug to them and they are addicted to it; however, the emotional abuse, and the cycles of sudden highs and sudden lows, leave victim’s in a constant state of confusion.
The brainwashing efforts that occur leave you hollow, and depressed. And the reality of knowing that once his conquest of obtaining your love has been achieved, the nightmare really begins!
It’s at this stage when the cycles of Narcissistic Devaluation sets in, and the real person behind the mask begins to emerge.
Step #2 – During the cycles of loving a narcissist, and especially after the ending, and the break up occurs, a narcissist always uses forms of punishment to control his victim’s!
As an example, in the beginning he never left your side, he constantly wanted to be with you, he looked for every reason to see you, and now he avoids you! Perhaps he initially contacted you, sent constant reminders of how much he loved you, and even became slightly upset when you didn’t immediately respond.. But now, he ignores you, he uses “silent treatment” to punish you, and you are left with the obsession of wondering WHY!
Yes, during this stage, the underside of the Narcissistic Personality coming beaming through. The narcissists temperament changes, and so does yours. For obvious reasons of course, you desperately try to FIX the problem; however, you quickly discover that your attempts not only fail, they go unnoticed.
At this stage, the inevitable occurs – his criticisms, his recriminations and his humiliations are projected upon his partner. The narcissist conjures up the tiniest mistake, or oversight to use as an opening for a major battle. He or she throws out empty accusations with vehemence as if they were the worst crime ever perpetrated.
Everything that you use to be admired for, are now the same reasons you find yourself being objectified.
In such a case, reverse psychology is performed. The narcissist which initially portrayed to be the ideal partner, the prince in shining armor, now uses taglines like ‘ I am no good for you or we are not good together’! It’s an experience the victim never understands. Probably never will.
The unfortunate reality is, when a narcissist is chasing after you, he uses every lure in his box. The narcissist has learned from previous performances exactly what it takes to lure in his next catch, and will go to extreme measures in getting what he wants. And he so often does!
Step # 3 – After the ending of a narcissistic relationship, and the break up with a narcissist becomes a reality, victim’s are often left to believe something is wrong with them!
First allow me to say, there is no specific (emotional) partner or mate, who typically “binds” with a narcissist. Victim’s of Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes, and from all types of backgrounds. While there has been speculation that narcissist feed off the weak, I firmly believe that the women who Narcissists are most attracted to, are far from being weak! In fact, narcissistic men live for the chase, and they are ALWAYS looking for bigger and brighter stars!
Victims’ are often attractive, to a certain extent admired by others, they are high achievers, often strong/confident and viewed by the narcissist as having great potential. In the world of a Narcissist, this new form of Narcissistic Source of Supply is what drives him. His pursuit to conquer this new conquest motivates him, it keeps him alive, and makes him feel complete.
A Narcissist’s biggest fear in life is to find himself in a mediocre, monotonous existence. Narcissists feel omnipotent, grandiose, and unique. To live a routine, common, domestic life terrifies them. In the mind of a narcissist, nothing short of having the best job, the best education, the highest ranking position, the best children, and the most perfect partner will do. Please note, that being discarded by a narcissist should not imply you were not the best, and thus the reason he lost interest. The fact remains, his mind never rests, and this ever changing shift of needing MORE, is simply a part of his mental makeup. It’s who he is!
In addition, let me also add that loving yourself is completely normal. In fact, we all carry on some level a form of narcissism. Narcissism in it’s healthy stages is real, it’s what typically drives us humans to take care of ourselves.
Loving your true self is healthy, it’s functional, it’s imperative and absolutely normal. For the narcissist, it goes well beyond the levels of simply wanting to be his best. In the mind of a narcissist, he is the best, and nothing short of. He will never accept anything less than the best and ladies…. Despite how wonderful and amazing you truly are (and you are), the narcissist is NEVER satisfied!
The narcissist will always keep searching! The narcissist always believes that somewhere, somehow, someone is better!
Sadly, once you begin to realize this.. Once you begin to truly REALIZE this is not about you, and it’s ALL ABOUT HIM, do you then begin to recover.
As an example, Sam Vaknin writes,
“With a Narcissist – There is no “typical victim”. Women in all walks of life, wealthy and poor, smart and dumb, tall and short, head turning and less so – all fall prey to the Narcissists abuse.” Dr. Sam Vaknin
Step #4 – After the break up with a narcissist, victim’s often believe they were discarded, devalued and rejected because they were not good enough..
Victim’s must accept the fact that you were not an object of love to this person, but a pawn, a mere source of supply to feed his fragile ego; nothing more, but certainly nothing less. Once you understand how he must constantly change his source of supply, you will realize his rejection of you has NOTHING to do with you. He will repeat this cycle in every relationship he enters. It is inevitable. Be grateful this toxic abusive man is out of your life and never let him back.
In addition, the emotional abuse that often occurs in a relationship with a Narcissist is merciless, it’s relentless, and soul destroying. Narcissists simply brainwash us, and they use several different methods of coercion in order to obtain control over us. A narcissist will threaten, degrade, shift blame, criticize, manipulate, verbally assault, dominate, blackmail, withdraw, withhold love and affection and gaslight us.
Whether it be the heartbreak, the shattered trust, knowing he/she cheated, not having answers (lack of closure), the lies, the silent treatment, the avoiding and rejection is what leaves us numb, and heartbroken!
As I state, the initial phases of attraction, infatuation and falling in love are pretty normal. The narcissist puts on his best face – the other party is blinded by budding love.
Narcissists lead us to believe we have something we actually do not have, and we hold on to it. We think we have a relationship with an amazing person, when in reality we are living with an illusion that our relationship is special. The acting talent these personalities possess is astounding. They are brilliant con-artists and we must accept that the wonderful person we fell in love with NEVER existed.
He hid behind a mask of smoke and mirrors in order to obtain control of us and manipulate us to meet his never-ending child-like needs. Once we learn to see the Narcissist for the person he really is, we are finally able to free ourselves.
In addition, because I am often asked “Did I ever mean anything to him”? The answer is yes, you did mean something to the Narcissist. You made him feel alive. A Narcissist only spends time with people who inspire and excite him. However, at the end of the day, a Narcissist is incapable of feeling genuine love and will inevitably move on in pursuit of new supply. His attention is always fleeting and only temporary. He is always looking for the next best high, like a drug addict.
Nothing stands between you and your true self, but the Narcissist in your life! ~ Lisa E. Scott
To recall your power, you should realize this has nothing to do with you, nor does it have anything to do with not being good enough!
In reality, when a narcissist has fulfilled his conquest, and when he is completely convinced you love him, he will simply begin to lose interest. It’s at this point will you then begin to witness the signs of devaluation.
With a narcissist, this process is inevitable! Keep in mind, this evaluation of theirs is totally subjective and not grounded in reality at all.
Suddenly, because of boredom, a disagreement, a bad day, a memory of a previous partner or a new women/new source of supply is marked by the narcissist, he will swing from total idealization to complete devaluation.
If discarded or replaced by a new source of supply, VICTIM’S should realize this is not about being replaced with someone who is perceived as BETTER!!! Bottom-line, she is new!
She is new Narcissistic Supply!
You must accept the fact that you were not an object of love to this person, but a pawn, a mere source of supply to feed their fragile ego; nothing more, but certainly nothing less. Once you understand how the narcissist constantly change their sources of supply, you will realize their rejection, the high’s and low’s, being devalued or discarded has absolutely nothing to do with you!
Sadly, these new sources of supply will eventually experience what you are experiencing! The narcissist will repeat this cycle in every relationship they enter. It is inevitable!!!!
Narcissist are addicted to attention, and they are addicted to excitement.
In the beginning of a relationship, every woman is sexy to a Narcissist because the thrill of the chase makes her enticing. The harder to get, the sexier she becomes. However, once she has been conquered by the Narcissist, she slowly loses her desirability. The more comfortable the relationship becomes, and the more caring she becomes, the less enticing she is to him.
While it’s extremely hard to do…. If you truly want to see a narcissist in action.. If you truly want to GET BACK AT A NARCISSIST…
Do not validate him, do not contact him, do not chase him, and never plead with him! If he has discarded you for another woman, under no circumstance bargain yourself, or compare yourself to his new source.
This is totally what the narcissist expects you to do!
Step #5 – To begin the journey of getting over a narcissist, and to mentally press forward after the break up with a narcissist, you must step away from the fantasy!
I am often asked, “Why does it take so long to get over a narcissistic relationship? Why does he leave and come back? Why does a narcissist try so hard to win you back, if he really doesn’t care? Will a narcissist ever change, and did he ever love me?”
While there are so many questions that run through your mind, and I address most of these common questions in my eBook, the reality is, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are rigid, they are ruthless, and they are incapable of feeling emotions. At least as you would expect in a healthy, loving, two-sided relationship.
Accepting this is not easy, but it is imperative we understand this in order to move on. We need to get real with ourselves about what happened in our relationship. Only by understanding the Narcissist do we realize we have suffered emotional abuse and trauma at the hands of the person we love.
You should also know, that while narcissist rarely change, they also rarely seek treatment. Why would they, when they feel as if they have done nothing wrong?
The relationship with a narcissist, will be forever one-sided, and the roller-coaster may have it’s highs, but you must be prepared for all the MANY lows!
To avoid being trapped by the fantasy, and the illusion that often comes with the high’s of being on this carnival ride, you must focus in, and be real with yourself on how the low’s outweigh the good times. You must get past the web he created in the beginning of the relationship, and see things for what they really are.
Not only is the narcissist a master of creating fantasy illusions for his victim’s, women spend entirely too much time wasting their lives while focusing on the WRONG man! Not only so, women are far too willing to give the man in her life the almighty power of controlling her happiness. With A narcissist – You will spend the rest of your life following the shadow of a man who is damaged by his narcissistic personality disorder!
You need to reach beyond the remorse, the pain, the feelings, the sadness, the disappointment! You need to kick your urge of wanting to settle for yet another sleepless round of fantasia!
Plain and simple, after the luring stages, a narcissist will get bored. He will always need ongoing excitement to fulfill his inner void. In the end, the roller-coaster ride, and the games will be forever ongoing. As sad as it seems, you must realize this is a game you will never win.
Not only so, with a narcissist, the best way to increase your odds, is to not play at all!
As I state, loving someone who cannot return your love is agonizing and difficult to accept. However, the knowledge that no matter what you do, this person will never change is quite powerful, in my opinion. Once you understand this fundamental truth, a whole new world opens up to you. Your newfound knowledge should be liberating.
You must also remember, that when getting over a relationship with a Narcissist, it is not the same as with a healthy well-adjusted adult. In a typical breakup, we grieve the loss of love, the pain of saying goodbye, the sadness of something wonderful ending, broken promises and halted dreams.
When grieving a Narcissist, this pain is compounded by the reality that this person is not who you thought he was at all. Thinking you know someone and then suddenly being confronted with a person you don’t even recognize is quite a shock to the system.
While this information is all critical to your recovery, just beware that unless my copyright of Surviving A Narcissist is located on what you are reading, it may be a re-packaged product, and something I nothing to do with.
While my mission has, and will always be to help women recover from Narcissistic Abuse, I also feel that it’s extremely important that you be aware of what is out there.
Inside My Informative eBook, Here Are Some Secrets You Will Learn That Will Help You Regain Your Power! You Will Learn Ways That Will Help You Cope After The Break Up & Ways To Free Yourself From A Narcissistic Relationship!
- In my eBook, I will show you strategies that will help you begin the process of regaining your power. To begin this process, I will show you why the narcissist behaves they way they do, and how you can better understand the mind of someone who has narcissistic personality disorder.
- In my eBook we will cover 6-Steps that are critical to ones recovery. The 6-Steps are designed to help victim’s channel their energy, and improve the recovery process.
- After the break up with a narcissist, I will show you how to better understand and recognize what is happening, why it’s happening and ways to cope with the trauma and pain.
- When coming out of a relationship with a narcissist, and the break up with a narcissist, the first thing we need to do is get real with ourselves about what happened in the relationship. Only by understanding the narcissist, do we realize we have suffered emotional abuse and trauma at the hands of the person we love.
- In this e-Book, I will give you insight as to what is going on inside the narcissists mind. We will focus on the narcissists behavior, so that you may avoid being a target of future abuse. I will show you how to identify and recognize the true nature of a narcissist. I will help you understand the complex world of a narcissist, and help you understand just what it is that gives them such power and control in your reality…
- I will also show you the dynamics of a narcissist and why the narcissist is incapable of loving, why the narcissist continues to come back, and why this relationship truly fits the modern-day roller-coaster. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- I will address the crazy making of a narcissist and answer questions like, Why does the narcissist devalue & discard? Why it’s crucial to understand that narcissist can’t change.
- In this book, I truly want you to GET REAL so that you can begin the path forward. You need to understand who you are dealing with, and most importantly, why you deserve better!
- I will walk you through the what drives the sexual side of a narcissist and cover the Madonna Whore Complex.
- This eBook will identify and address why we fall for a narcissist! I will also show you why we are drawn to the narcissist.
- So he’s gone, he’s ignoring you, he is with someone else but….. Do they miss us? Again, this is why getting over a narcissist and the break up with a narcissist is so hard. Victim’s are left feeling inadequate. I will show you how to break these cycles.
- I will help you understand why narcissist chase new sources of supply, and why it’s critical that you accept he will not change.
- Your love is my drug, right? I will uncover why it’s so hard for us to stay away from a narcissist and how to deal with the pain, the loss and the break up with a narcissist!
- Do you feel obsessed or find yourself obsessing over the narcissist? I will help you find ways to cope with the obsession you might experience, and provide simple outlets to help you begin your process of healing.
- I show you simple ways in how you can cope with the fears you may experience, the break up and realize that FEAR is what keeps you from having POWER. If there is one thing the Narcissist sets out to do from day one is to control his victims. I will show you how to take back control.
- No, this is NOT easy… But I will help you explore ways of breaking your addiction with the Narcissist.You can get over a narcissist! You can survive a narcissistic relationship!
- I will show you why the best medicine against the narcissist is to focus on YOUR future, and your happiness. I will show you why no contact is critical to your recovery, and offer continuous support via our online forum.
Over the past decade, my mission has been to help victim’s recover from narcissistic abuse.The first step to recovery is to take back your power.
It is my sincere hope and belief that the following steps inside my eBook, will help you understand what you experienced, process your pain, and heal.
So what are people saying about ‘Surviving A Narcissist – The Path Forward‘?
Out of the thousands who have responded, here are just a few of the testimonies I have received on the forum.
We cannot avoid reality. We have to be honest with ourselves. In fact, many victim’s continue to be selfless servants, unable to separate themselves psychologically from the narcissist. As I like to say, we have to get real, if we plan to heal.
For now, it is important to understand that the only closure you can possibly hope for in a relationship with a Narcissist is the knowledge that this person is permanently disordered and disturbed. He will never change. You must accept him for who he is and all his limitations or move on and create a new life for yourself.
In my experience, the absolute best revenge, and the absolute best way in getting over a narcissist break up, is to take control. Take back your life, take back the power! you’ve handed over, and free yourself from the web he has created! In addition, if there is one thing you should know, your happiness alone, will instantly get to a narcissist.
This eBook will show you simple ways to channel your energy, and ways that will help you cope through the pain.
You Will Also Discover Steps That Will Guide You Towards Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse & Ways That Will Help You Recover After The Break Up With A Narcissist!
Surviving A Narcissist The Path Forward
A new E-book from Lisa E. Scott (the author of top-selling e-book “All About Him.”) This book will take you much deeper into the cycles one faces in Surviving A Narcissist and the Steps one might use on The Path to Recovery! Read the eBook Now.
Ps. Remember don’t forget to sign up for my free newsletter.. We will not sell your info or distribute your info.
Lisa Scott absolutely grasps the essence of narcissism. As I read her book I was continually amazed how she was able to take this very complicated psychological construct and distill it down to its fundamental nature – illustrating it in a way that was easy to understand. She provides a practical and hopeful approach for any woman dealing with this type of man.
~ Candace V. Love
PhD Clinical Psychologist
One of the best relationship guides to appear this year is IT’S ALL ABOUT HIM: HOW TO IDENTIFY AND AVOID THE NARCISSIST MALE BEFORE YOU GET HURT. Author Lisa Scott’s examples come from experience – and solidly identify the personality traits and approaches of the narcissistic male, who requires excessive attention and admiration and believes that he’s unique while being devoid of empathy. An outstanding survey, and a highly recommended pick for any lending library.
~ Midwest Book Review
About Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott is a native of the Chicagoland area who resides in the South Loop near the heart of historic Printer’s Row. She has her Masters of Science and has been published twice in academic journals related to research work she has done. She wrote her first book “It’s All About Him” to help women recognize the harmful effects of being in a relationship with a Narcissist. “Surviving a Narcissist” is her second book, which she hopes will provide a Path Forward for individuals recovering from a relationship with a Narcissist. Ms. Scott is also the creator of an online community supporting victims of Narcissists. Ms. Scott is currently employed as a Human Resource Director in Chicago, IL.
Disclaimer: The advice contained on this website, and the advice inside “Surviving A Narcissist – The Path Forward” should not be substituted for real medical and professional help. Freeing yourself from narcissistic abuse can be extremely painful and mentally exhausting. It is critical that you realize the advice I provide women is based upon my own personal experiences, as well as, years of research. My website and forums provide women from around the world with comfort and advice on how to free themselves from a narcissist and a narcissistic relationship! I am not a doctor, psychologist, or licensed professional, and results may vary from woman to woman. Under no circumstance should this advice be misrepresented as a substitute for medical and professional help by a licensed practitioner